The hairstyle hall of fame

People have complained about my having no recent pictures here at all, so here's one I just (7/29/97) took with my new Color Quickcam 2. While in real life it's just my hair that's purple, when I started playing around with my plug-ins, for some reason the "Diffuse Glow" filter made my face and the wall turn purple as well, so I decided to leave them that way.

BTW, the reason this page has the background it does is because I thought it was reminiscent of the dreadlocks I used to have. And the title was just a throwaway line, supposed to be kind of a mocking title for a picture page. And yes, I know that these pictures are all absolutely huge and I should rescan then and then save them as JPEG's, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet, and at the time I originally did this page a lot of browsers didn't support JPEG's.

And here's one more new (8/20/97) picture showing off my trademark "hand" sunglasses and with my computer screen reflected in them. I could definitely play with this camera all day and so could Arthur -- he loves for me to take a picture of him and let him change the colors around with Photoshop.

We now return you to the original introduction to this page

It's the net, the net, the net ... the place where people simultaneously ask "What kind of nut puts pictures of themself in their web page?!?!" and "So, come on, when are you going to put some pictures up already?!?!"

I was originally intending not to put up any pictures of myself, but then tonight (6/12/95) I had to go and shoot my mouth off like this in a mailing-list posting:

Don't you go talking pictures to *me* ... last night I cut most of my hair off again (I was tired of it being half permed and half grown out, but have also been haunted by what someone on another mailing list said about it being impossible to have children, keep up with computer mailing lists *and* maintain a hairstyle), threw it on the compost heap, and now the compost heap looks a lot better than I do! :-(

But maybe just for you I'll scan some pictures of better hairstyles tonight.

For many years my hair was down to my waist. (40K)

A very common thing for me to do was perm it in braids (73K)

Clipped-short-on-the-left-side hairstyle with chili-pepper earring (256K -- yowch!)

Pink and green and twisted into horns, accompanied by supermodel Jon (61K)

I loved my dreadlocks, but cut them off after a year and a half because they were totally falling apart (164K).

As far as their hair goes, my wonderful children Sam and Arthur are a study in contrasts. While Sam is proud of his very long hair, Arthur's has grown so slowly that as of 8/20/97 -- exactly a month away from his third birthday -- it's still never been cut. This picture is from way back on 5/20/95, but they haven't changed that much in terms of hair.

The remainder of this page is all genuine pure authentic 100% 1995 commentary

"Well gee Tané, I see you just got Kai's Power Tools Limited Edition."
"Oh yeah? How did you know that?"
"I can see it written all over your face."
"Oh. Well, just wait until I dig up photos of a few more hairstyles and then have to think of something else to do to them besides slop around rainbows of one sort or another!"
"Yeah yeah sure sure ..."

Anyway ... so what does my hair look like now that its better half has been unceremoniously dumped onto the compost heap ... god, you don't want to know ... well OK, I'll show you something else I posted about it:

I couldn't stand it when I looked in the mirror, I thought I looked like I should be in a TV commercial wearing an apron and plugging Republican-scented dishwashing soap, ugh!

When asked to elaborate, I added that it looked like bad Monty-Python screechy-housewife drag. *sigh* And of course just when I feel like going around with a bag over my head, my mother decides to plan a visit. I think I'll have to dye some purple stripes in it so I can at least walk around with my head held high again.

One consolation is that at least I have a large collection of hats.

OK, here's an update as of 10/28/95: after a few days of the above I just couldn't stand it any more, and decided to dose myself with massive quantities of peroxide, which at least made my burden bearable -- even though I wound up looking like some alternate-universe version of Zsa Zsa in a women's prison movie, it was still a lot easier to take than looking like a minion of Phyllis Schafly. This hairstyle limped along like that for several months until yesterday when I dyed it purple. I had been feeling too anonymous after cutting off my disintegrating dreadlocks, so now I feel more like myself again and am enjoying it. I'm a little worried about being treated badly in various situations because I have purple hair, but so far all I've gotten is compliments.

If you just can't get enough (ack) of this kind of page, be sure to check out [I used to have a link to another jokey hairstyling page here, but evidentally they let the domain expire and it got picked up by a generic porno site ... I'll have to look for a replacement link later].

People who hate this page might prefer The No Hair Club For Men, though unfortunately that link seems to be gone as well.

BTW, this page of mine is the sole link listed under "Reasons to Be Bald" on The Bald is Beautiful Homepage's Related Links section.

Coming soon -- an even more embarrassing page than this one -- "Tané's earring club for weirdos."